The Halloween candy is gone

finally. I could not bring myself to throw it out or give it away. So slowly I ate it all. Sometimes too much at a time. It was ugly. It is emotional eating at it’s worse. I was feeling anxious about a lot of things going on lately. Work, money, my back, lack of exercise, etc.  A lot of things. I feel like I can move on now. I just have to know that it is best if I never buy tempting foods in the first place. That’s it for today. A lot going on.

I let myself go

I seem to be letting myself go. I don’t care what I eat or how much. I have let myself go. I have plain and simple. I have no excuses at all. All I can say is that I am still feeling defeated about my back issue. On Friday I found out I have only one physical therapy appointment left which is today. So I will if I need more from the PT guys and then a check-in with my doctor on Thursday. Perhaps I will get more PT and then hopefully an answer to when I can start really exercising. I just want to feel better without taking an anti-inflammatory all the time.

I want to do the exercise I dread to start but once I get going makes you sweat and in the end makes you feel like a million bucks good. I want that again. 

So I decided to start anew today. I did still have some chocolate today which is my weakness for sure. However I did not over indulge like I had a couple of times these past couple of weeks. I really did have a mini binge I think…no it was a binge. I ate way too much candy. I did.

So now it’s time to stop this pity party and make some changes. I have a goal pending approval from the PT guys and my doc and that is to run a 5k Turkey Trot. I have a little over 4 weeks and I think it’s manageable. Well time to go to PT! More news to follow.

A good night’s sleep

I went to pick up my second prescription for my back last night. It’s a muscle relaxer called Soma for short. I don’t recall the pharmacological name nor do I care all that much…because shortly after I swallowed the pill I was ready for bed. I wanted to stay up and finish the Biggest Loser but no go. I thought oh I can get up and watch a little in the morning….well that didn’t happen either. I slept a good long and hard sleep waking only to the sound of the alarm. I didn’t even hear the steady flow of rain on the roof trickling down the gutter. Still dark all I wanted to do was cozy up to Matilda and call out for the day. The idea of lounging around all day in pajamas drinking hot chocolate and watching TV sounded so appealing. Still does as I sit hear at work, but I thought I want to bank some hours and if I use leave it will be harder to do that. Plus I thought a few more days and then another 3-day weekend with Columbus Day off and a short week after.  I can make it. Time to get to work and make this do go by so I can get home to my wonderful hubby! I saw this pic and thought it was beautiful and kind of depicted the day here at the beach but not as pretty 😉

Spondylolisthesis

is what I found out I have and it explains why I am in some pain. I found this definition while doing research for this condition on the internet:  Spondylolisthesis is when one vertebra slips forward over the vertebra below it. I don’t know how or when I got this and I likely could have been born with it and was just asymptomatic until I aggravated the condition which caused the back pain. It could also have happened while young from a fall or some trauma as well as when an adult from a car accident or other trauma as well. My doctor pointed out that at this point it doesn’t really matter how I have it but rather to focus our attention to the best course of treatment. An x-ray determined my condition and I managed to find an image on the internet that best matches my actual x-ray. The doctor says it is a Grade II, so somewhere between 25-49% “slippage”.  

So the next step it looks like is a Physical Therapist. I am hopeful that my condition can improve enough for me to get back to exercising and I think it will. I think the PT will want me to exercise maybe not the kind I want but still it is some good news. The bad news is the cost. Unfortuately I have a $750 deductible for “other services”, so I will be footing the bill for the first part of this. I have to be optimistic that if I do what they recommend that I will get better soon and will not need as many sessions. I do feel relieved that I now know why I’ve had back pain, all be it minor till now, for a number of years. I’m looking forward to the PT and time will tell. All I know is that I DO NOT want back surgery so I’m going to work it hard!